6 November 2008 (US)
Not a day goes by that I don't wake up wondering..what am I doing and why? Mil told me the other day that I'm going to burn myself out but I get utterly depressed if I'm just stagnant. It a curse that runs in my family that one has to consistently be moving, planning, building up options, and breaking down walls. I rather get this streak out of my system while I'm still young because I don't plan to lift a finger when I'm past 40. I can't phathom doing all this running around with a walking stick so everyday I am on a constant grind. I've attempted to turn my crackberry off and have even acquired an assistant but nothing seems to help, I get anxious wondering whose trying to contact me and what I'm missing out on. I'm going to get some research done because my brain won't function if I don't arrange 10 meetingsby the time I've had lunch. It's an unhealthy habit and I plan to stop. At times I feel like I don't even know myself doing certain things out of pure selfishness. La sigh I'm a bit overwhelmed but then again if my world wasn't spinning I would presume myself dead.


























